Archives for posts with tag: dreams

I’d been ill with a fever for most of the day. I woke up in the early hours after only managing about two hours sleep, and took a paracetamol to stop me from shivering.
When I got back to sleep, I went straight into a dream about my landlord…who’s name I can’t even bring myself to mention as he is the most un-human, human being I have had direct dealings with in my life so far.
In the dream he was mopping my brow and massaging my temples… i.e. acting in a caring manner. With this, I immediately became sharply lucid and had a little chuckle to myself at the irony with which these wake up signals, or dream-signs seem to be designed.
I got up and floated downstairs to the kitchen. But as I did my level of consciousness began to fade. I walked into the front room and saw a big group of people sitting around chatting… this was something that never happened in our house at the time, so I said “Sorry to interrupt, is this an o.b.e.?”
All together they said “YES” in the tone of people who had been dutifully waiting for me to ask the most boring question in the world.

I did my usual jump in the air to lock in the lucidity, floated for a while then flew through the ceiling. Feet first, I traveled through what felt like one dimensional layer and landed somewhere in complete darkness. I felt safe, and aware that I was in a room somewhere.
I said “Hello? Does anyone want to guide me somewhere please?”
A single, large eye appeared very clearly in the centre of my vision. It stayed for about twenty seconds so I had plenty of time to stare into it. I savoured this opportunity as I’d heard people talk about seeing a big eye and was curious about how it would feel. I breathed deeply, watching the colour and the detail of the iris become more vivid with each breath.
The answer I felt on holding the question of what or who it was, was simply that it was me.eye_blue-eye-pic54


Gradually, and with a couple of ‘Clarity now’ commands I began to be able to make out shapes in the room until it became clear where I was. It appeared to be a very small music room at a school. It was quiet, and I was standing behind an old wooden desk on a rough, beige carpet. I could see two keyboards, a guitar and some shelves with a few books, files and a set of maracas.
Everything was solid to the touch and my hands looked just like they do in the physical.
My first thought was to look for clues as to what I was doing here so I searched around excitedly.
Under the desk were a set of small ‘Alice in Wonderland’ books. I opened one of them but there was nothing legible inside, or I couldn’t focus properly on the writing. I think I was hoping to find a note with an instruction like “eat me” !
I felt that these books were there simply to serve as confirmation that I was in another dimension and that it was time for another adventure.

I flew out through the closed door of the room, feeling a very slight resistance from its density, then proceeded along a series of wide corridors which eventually opened out and led to a long, sunny veranda overlooking a warm, golden beach.

Flying was totally effortless in this experience, and the further I flew, the more beautiful the landscape became. I came to an area of very tall conifer trees and spent a while swooping around through the tops of them. As I looked down I saw that it was a huge, rocky canyon filled with very tall, castle – like buildings, with trees all around them. The foundations of these structures must have been about 150 meters below me as I weaved around them, admiring their turrets, every one unique.

I moved on from the canyon and came to a grassy verge on my right with two men sitting in the sun, drinking cans of beer. They looked kind of trampy. I went over to them, making a conscious effort to conceal my excitement and said
“Hi guys, I hope you don’t mind me bothering you but I’m not from around here and I’m a newbie to all this flying lark. I wondered if you’d mind telling me where I am and whether it’s o.k. to fly here? How many layers out from the physical are we?”

They both listened attentively but I noticed one of them seemed very irritated by my questions as he made a sour face and turned away, tutting, so as to leave the other one to speak to me.
He said “Ok, I’ll tell you what, I’ll help you…I’ll show you something that might help explain it…Come on, we’re going to the cemetery.”
“To show me your grave?” I said. “Yeah.”

I asked if we would be flying there and he replied adamantly “NOOOO”, but then he got up and flew off !
I followed him over a railway track, then a beautiful sparkly river. It was very earth-like, very idyllic and the atmosphere of the place was pleasant and calm.
After a minute of flying behind him, we both seemed to have forgotten where we were originally going.
We arrived at a shop front and went inside to a reception desk with a friendly looking middle aged woman behind it. It felt like the entrance of some kind of learning institute.

He introduced me to the woman behind the counter and said “This little Missy is just starting out flying, so I’m showing her around a bit”.
He put his foot on some kind of sensor on the floor and the woman walked around to a metal turnstile near where we were standing. She took a reading from a dial on the wall which appeared to correspond to the sensor. It was made of brass with a glass front. His reading read just over 40 ‘somethings’ on a dial with about 150 notches.

They gestured to me that it was my turn. Excitedly, I put my foot on the sensor. The dial barely reached 5 ‘somethings‘ !
It was clearly an entry requirement to get a reading over a certain level. Level of what though?!
I felt it was measuring life force, or consciousness, or something alike.

Unfortunately at this point I suddenly zoned out and woke up back in my bed…Dying to know where he was going to take me! And what was behind that turnstile!?

On reflection :

Conifer trees had popped up a few times in o.b.e.s by now. I supposed that being evergreens they symbolised the eternal nature of the soul. Being trees, they are firmly rooted to the earth for a lifetime so I guessed that could be a simple reminder of what we are as humans…pretty vague conclusion but it didn’t feel like anything too important, more of a background theme.

The two men’s reaction to my question: This irritated attitude was becoming quite a familiar occurrence when conversing with locals on some of the astral planes. As he said he was going to take me to a cemetery, I concluded that some of these people are probably quite unhappy about being dead, and don’t really want it rubbed in their face by some over excited traveller who gets to go back to their physical body whenever they want. That would explain why in some environments it’s quite a taboo to fly and it feels like people can see you but they don’t want to look.


I woke up alone on the sofa in my parents living room. I sat up and looked around the room for a while, with the distinct feeling that something wasn’t quite right. I couldn’t remember going round to visit them that day. Eventually it became clear that I was out of my body or dreaming.

Everything around me looked pretty close to how it looks normally, but with a certain iridescent quality that had become quite familiar by now. I looked down and saw that my hands were glowing, which was the confirmation I needed to bring my consciousness up to a level where I could float.
I went up as far as the ceiling, and out through the front windows of the house. I flew easily over the railway track on the other side of the road.

After a while I noticed my vision was a bit skewed, and I seemed to be tumbling as opposed to flying with any control…almost as if I’d been fired out of a canon.
I landed on a patch of grass on the other side of the tracks, next to some allotments. I clearly recognised where I was. This was Bromley as I know it, spliced with Bromley as it was in Victorian times.
At the top of the hill, a few of the main buildings you can see today in the High street were visible, but a lot of what I was seeing in my immediate vicinity was farmland. There were horses and carts, women dressed in bustled skirts and bonnets, and men in scruffy black suits with white shirts and black hats. Most of the men appeared to be working or transporting hay from one end of the road to the other.

I turned left and traveled about 20 meters while I asked internally to meet my guides. I saw a couple of people dressed in modern clothes, who gave me polite nods of acknowledgement.
There was a small, modern looking building at the end of the road that had the feel of a welfare office, or somewhere that people in the community went for free support of some kind.
I walked through the door to see a woman dressed in modern attire with bobbed blonde hair. She seemed pleasantly surprised to see me and said ” Oh!, hold on I’ll just serve these people then I’ll be right with you.”

I don’t know why, but I suddenly lost focus at that point and I was quite disappointed to find myself back in my bed at home.

Following a conversation with my friend Katie who was mourning her Dad and strongly needing to know that she would one day see him again, I’d been thinking about whether it was possible to meet deceased friends during these new conscious experiences I was having.

I had done an hours meditation in the afternoon during which I decided to try this out with my old friend and ex boyfriend Joel. Joel had passed away 4 or 5 years previously and I had seen him at least twice in some very vivid dreams shortly after he died. In one of them I clearly remember that he was teaching me to fly.
He had always been a keen paraglider and usually referred to it as ‘going flying’ so since I’d been having lucid dreams and out of body experiences, I’d felt happy in the knowledge that he probably now got to fly whenever he wanted. Maybe he was excited to tell me that, and that’s what my dream had been about.

So anyway, during my meditation I held the intention of inviting Joel to come and visit me in a dream so that we could have a go at meeting up consciously.

That night, I dreamed I was in my bed at home, watching the shadow of a small biplane moving around on the wall.
My Dad was there. (Dad is still with us.) He was telling me how the image had come to appear, by explaining the way in which the light was reflecting through the curtains to cause the illusion.
I looked around the room to see if I could see a real or toy biplane anywhere but just saw Alex, (my boyfriend at the time) with a remote control box, seemingly controlling the shadow of it. I looked at the other side of the bed and saw another version of Alex there too. Normally this would have been a strong enough dream sign to wake me up into lucidity but for some reason it didn’t.

Next thing I knew I was downstairs in the kitchen with a previous housemate, Dee, who was playing with a little girl of about 6, and Joel was there :), but I didn’t become lucid.

In hind sight it was a bigger, brighter, more spacious version of my house in Peckham but I didn’t notice at the time.
Joel and I were looking at things in the fridge. He asked me why it was up-side-down. I laughed, blamed one of my housemates and asked him to help me turn it back around.
We went out into the garden…which was twice the size of my real garden, and chatted for a while. He pointed out that the garden was the size of football pitch, which by this time it was as it had been blatantly growing in size during our conversation.
I just shrugged and said “yeah it’s great for sunbathing”

Next thing I knew I was dozing in the sun in my bikini, and was suddenly jolted awake by really loud, horrible music. Angry, I walked over to Joel and shouted at him for turning the stereo up so high.. “Have you got no consideration for the neighbours? What’s the matter with you for gods sake?”
He yelled back at me “It’s because I don’t want you to sleep!”

There was a long pause, then I asked him why, and what he’d meant by it.

I had heard or interpreted his words slightly differently and for some reason though that he was insulting me or saying something bad. I can’t remember exactly what I heard but it was something that had triggered my insecurity and an attack of low self esteem.
He just rolled his eyes and said softly “Don’t worry…just give me a hug”
We had a big long hug which made me feel quite emotional…in neither a good or bad way, but I sobbed for a while.

When I woke up the next day I was kicking myself. The poor guy could not have made it any clearer!
I was so pleased that he seemed to have heard my invitation, and come to visit me but SO annoyed with myself that I hadn’t become lucid and made more of the opportunity.

When pondering on reasons for my surprising lack of lucidity during this dream, the main thing that stood out to me was the part when I’d misheard him say he didn’t want me to sleep.
I’d heard something instead, that had resonated with my biggest fear about myself, but as soon as I woke in the morning I could clearly remember him saying “I don’t want you to sleep”
It reminded me of something I’d read before that said having a lot of fear in ones energy field can be a cause of obstruction to O.B.E.s and lucidity. I guess that’s because it’s a low vibration.
I concluded that what was going on inside me on an emotional level at that time in my life could have easily been exactly the reason he couldn’t wake me up, and as regretful as I felt, I also felt very grateful to him for showing me that.

Also, “I don’t want you to sleep” was an interesting choice of words…Why not “I want you to wake up” or even more directly, “ I’m trying to remind you that this is a dream, so we can meet like you intended” ?

It definitely seems that there are some boundaries in place and that spirit guides aren’t allowed to make things too easy for us, but only give us hints. I noted that I wanted to find out more about these limitations and the reasons for them. Was it something to do with the law of free will?

This was an intense one. It felt a bit rubbish, but it all worked out in the end .

I was just on the edge of falling asleep, lying on my left side when I felt myself sliding slowly backwards across the bed as if being gently pulled. I opened my eyes and almost panicked for a second as it felt like a physical experience and I wondered if I would fall off the edge with a thud.
I could hear the sweeping/rustling sound of my body moving across the sheet and couldn’t see my physical body as I moved away from it which was confusing.  I managed to go with it though, and gently floated around the room while I mustered the energy to fly with direction.

As usual, I tried to fly directly upwards and used the “higher self now” command but I struggled to get anywhere. I did some deep breathing and decided to try going forwards instead of upwards as it seemed to take less energy.

I went through about 3 walls, one after the other, each time being aware that I was still indoors somewhere but on a different dimension.  I popped out of the last wall into what appeared to be a museum, with quite a few people wandering around. 
I was among display cabinets full of Egyptian looking jewellery.  Most of the pieces were gold or brass coloured and had hieroglyphs and animal symbols on them.

I realised I could pick up anything I wanted as I had no physical body and nobody would notice. I picked up a gold ring with a carving of a griffin-like bird on it and studied it for a while. I was going to take it as a souvenir but then became aware that it would be stealing, and even though I was pretty sure nobody could see me they would see the ring moving around in the air and might think that strange.

When I’d had enough of looking at all the Egyptian artefacts and jewels I asked “why am I here“ and looked around, strongly expecting an answer to come from somewhere.  I asked quite a few times but got nothing.  Then I asked to go somewhere else, and tried the “Higher self now” command, but nothing happened.

Everyone I looked at seemed to be busy, or walking quickly to get somewhere.   Eventually I was drawn to a man walking past me on my left. I looked directly at him and said “excuse me please, why am I here?”  He didn’t want to stop, and I felt very little warmth from him but I did feel somehow he was there for me, or was at least more similar to me than everyone else there.  He turned and said “because you’re lost”

I asked him what he meant, and he explained it in one sentence with one key word I’d never heard before.  I knew I might not remember it so I asked if I could go to a library to find out what it meant.  He smiled and said “you wont find it”

I started to feel very emotional and started to sob…I wasn’t scared or worried, just emotional.  (At this early stage of astral travelling that seemed to happen as soon as I had contact with another person/soul in an o.b.e.)
From nowhere, I was given an intricately decorated gold bracelet to study.  It seemed like I was being encouraged to focus on something. I tried asking another man how I could move on from this place or to explain to me in what way I was “lost”, but he just politely told me that it was rude of me to keep asking people there for help and that I’d better stop it.

I felt quite alone and experienced a strange sense of guilt like a naughty child…as if somehow ‘Spirit’ or ‘Guides’ were sick of helping me out and I should just toughen up and find my own way this time.
I continued to try the commands, but started to intermittently slip out of waking consciousness. I remember briefly being outside somewhere very colourful, but I could only fly very slowly and couldn’t get more than a couple of feet from the ground. It was very frustrating…I was sobbing and purging some painful emotion in a way I have only ever experienced whilst out of body.

The last thing I remember was floating around a ceiling, trying to go through it.  It had saucepans hanging from it that were getting in my way, so I kept moving along to clearer areas to try again.  Every time I got near them they would fill up with more saucepans…and then a few colanders were added to the impasse.
As I tried harder and harder, the metal became sharper and pointier, until eventually there were metal spikes and barbed wire appearing!  I was NOT supposed to go through this ceiling and was definitely getting the impression that I could not go any higher or further within this experience.

The whole experience felt heavy, frustrating and sad. There were deep sobs flowing through me for what felt like hours and I when I came back to my physical body I didn’t feel exhilarated or excited as I had after previous o.b.e.s so far. There was a “tough love” vibe about the whole thing.

After this experience I’d been trying hard to think of possible reasons why my soul was so sad and in what way I might be “lost” at the moment in life, but I honestly couldn’t work it out. I couldn’t remember the keyword I was given either.
I wondered if I might have been reading too much into it and  should just try to shelve it as a ‘random dream’ type of experience, but I couldn’t.  I’ve always been quite analytical in this way.
I began to feel a bit down and “lost” almost as a result of the o.b.e. and after a couple of weeks, I was forced by this feeling to spend some good long hours in meditation, hibernation and detox.
It was from this dedicated period of soul searching that I found the answer, and when I did I was SO glad that it had been pointed out to me sooner rather than later otherwise I may have been careering off in the wrong direction for months and never clocked it.

   O.b.e.s weren’t always going to be hugely uplifting, but they were beginning to prove themselves as meaningful and useful. 

This threw up a few questions about the difference between o.b.e.s and lucid dreams.  I needed to learn about how to recognise projections of my own subconscious, whilst in consensus realities.  They could obviously be layered together quite seamlessly.

The ceiling issue, and my lack of flying power, represented a limitation that the physical Me had been causing the energy Me without knowing. The saucepans in my way, represented the fact that I was too used to being a chef… I had never enjoyed it but had been limiting myself and my ability to change.